Monday, May 10, 2010

Are men shy or are they genetically inexpressive???

Hi guys, Sorry for the long-long break, but here I am, back again with something that has always fascinated me, the so-called male psyche in relationships. Most men complain that it’s the women who are complicated. But, some how, I am of the opinion that it isn’t either easy to understand men. It takes time, dedication, patience and nurturing lasting bonds before you get to the core of a man’s heart and mind, be it your father, brother, friend, husband, boyfriend. So taking this interesting topic ahead, let me today talk about something that all women must have felt at some time in their life. Are men really shy in expressing themselves, or is it they are just programmed to be so, quiet and inexpressive of their emotions in love.

Men are usually uneasy with relationships. When a man feels something for a woman, he takes a lot of time to come to terms with this feeling. At first there is dilemma to segregate love from lust since both are integral to a man’s psychology. Well, it is integral to female psychology also, but I believe a woman easily distinguish between the true love and a mere physical attraction or infatuation. Women are more intelligent, I guess:-) Jokes apart, men often can’t differentiate between subtle differences in variations of their own thoughts. So in such a state they have no option but to refrain from acceptance of the eternal truth of falling in love. Moreover, men usually try to find logic in everything even the emotions they experience, which is practically impossible. Emotions and logic doesn’t go hand in hand.:-)

It seems that genetically, beautiful sensitivities like love and emotions don’t really go well with the male: the chauvinist and impregnable version of a homo sapien. What is the reason behind men not being very indicative about their feelings for a woman, the woman who rule their minds, hearts and dreams. Is it fear, confusion, ego, nonchalance, or diffidence? The answer varies in content and extent from person to person. Men remain inexpressive of their inmost feelings for different reasons. Many of my male friends would agree, men are generally shy or hesitant when they propose the girl of their dreams for the first time. Many men try and act cool that it doesn’t really matter but the fact remains that it is not easy for any human being to accept rejection in any sphere of life. But for those who are already in a relationship, its not fear of rejection or diffidence. The extent to which they express largely depends on the level of seriousness and commitment involved. There are some who bear the notion that it’s not “manly” to be emotional. According to surveys, men who are emotional understand a woman better. But even an emotional man would not be as open and as good with words as a woman would be. For the simple reason, that they can't blabber, they cant repeat the same thing again and again in different ways, they just try to keep things SIMPLE.:-)

Different men have different circumstances and thus have different ways of their expression of love and affection. Some believe that it’s just the confusion that makes men less candid in love. Men are too engrossed in their usual boys stuff that they in most cases neither desire nor dare to look deep inside and ask themselves “ how deeply they feel for a girl”? Also, in some circumstances, pain from past changes the way someone  lives in the present and future. Life is unfair, relationships are queer, and ego multiplies the extent of complexity in love. And that can be another reason that stop men from being loud about their love interests. A lot of men are waiting for the fresh change where women take on the brave act of proposing. Women have always been asking for equal rights, so why don’t they rightfully play the part of initiating a relationship. Surveys show that guys adore and admire women making the first move. Well, no doubt we have quite an ample number of bold gals to answer back to such egoistic freaks. Times have changed and girls unapologetically and gracefully say “I do” before their man says so.

Last but not the least, we have the commitment phobic men. They fear expressing their love as expression strengthens a relation further and takes it a step nearer to commitment. So probably when we say men shy away, it’s like virtually saying they shy away from commitment, from responsibility and from solemnizing a relation with a strong and firm foundation. Men can commit to education, career, work and to hobbies and their passions, but when it comes to committing to a girl they get jitters that shake them to the core. Man-Woman relationship has always been a point of contention and it will remain so for many years to come. It is because this relation is so very dynamic; it has so many unpredictable and irrational dimensions. It is in simple words human behavior that changes each moment, each day. Women feel men are less expressive but may be it’s just in the relative sense, as men believe women are over expressive.:-)

There are questions in life that don’t have exact answers and when questions pertain to relationships, there can’t be any politically and emotionally correct ones. So for all those men out their who had been inexpressive in voicing their deepest emotions hidden inside the core of their heart, just know that faith makes all things possible and love makes all things easy. All you hot hunks, and cool guys out there just take it easy. If you have faith in your heart and love in your sight, just go ahead and bring the two together and say it, say it aloud to the girl of your dreams, to your fiancĂ©e, or even to the beautiful lady whom you married 10 years ago. The magic of those three golden word, ”I Love you” will fill your life with a new meaning each time you say them. So don’t shy away, just express, and express with a charm, with an attitude that sweeps your girl off her feet.

And for all you women out there, here’s a little piece of advice,

Men are strange creatures,
They’ll hate you; they’ll irritate you,
They’ll call you emotional fools,
They’ll tease you with stupid names,
They’ll deny you; they’ll defy you,
They can be shy or bold,
But their breaths are in your hold,
Beneath all fears, beneath all pretence,
The truth prevails; they cant live without you,
Yes, indeed, Oh! Woman, the man is incomplete without you!!!

So try understanding your man and smile till I login again :-)

11 comments:

Mahi said...

nic reading!!!

well, I wud say at times men can b much more emotional than women, they certainly take effort to explain the depth of their feelings….though these r not visible in routine….!

I hv such guys in my life…who had exactly made difference between ‘true love and a mere physical attraction or infatuation’ nd had always been the one to stand by her women in every way!

Wen it cums to relationships, a guy always has to take initiative so that things work out smoother…but the ones who r perplexed will take no effort.

Thnkx

Street Style said...

Hi,
Saw ur comment on my blog Style Decoded, You can reach me on my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Street-Style/264211326027?ref=mf#!/pages/Street-Style/264211326027 and on my blog right here.
do keep the comments coming in:)

Jon said...

I belong to the group who thinks a lot b4 taking a step...and there is this eternal fear of getting rebuffed.... So for me love is something that is a rare possiblity

Namita Kohli said...

hey neelam,
point taken... as i sed different men have diffrent circumstances and thus, different ways to deal with relations and emotions...

Himanshu Singhal said...

Well u have tried to venture into a territory which is still unanswerable to most men..we guys still haven't come to terms with the subtle nuances and this complexity is gifted naturally to us.
However, I must say that it is a commendable effort by Eve to envisage the psyche of the Adams.

Namita Kohli said...

thanks himanshu for the appreciation... I kno the territory isnt too comfortable to enter in... but still jotted down watever came from the heart and watever i have infered from the company of ADAMs in the past few years.....:-)

Atul said...

Well well..this is the unstoppable debate..There is no right and no wrong and if it was that easy to understand the psyche of men and women, Life would have been much simpler..my two words:

Men may be shy at times, but they are for sure not impulsive as the fair species, they usually don't make decisions in haste. We are naturally egoistic (not all) and it hurts to realise that we did not make the right choice. We cannot just get rid of the poor choice by simply crying our eyes out..

Talking of psychology, its always physical attraction for the opposite sex and NEVER love. It comes much later. We do try to find logic in everything but not necessarily emotions, its the possibility of an association that we try to find the logic in.

Tough, it has always being considered a Men's prerogative to propose yet if with the changing times and yet more evolving bold girls, if we desire the girl of our dreams to make the first move, the reason AINT always EGO..

Yes, we are a commitment phobic species because we dont want to be trapped, to be answerable for every move we make, every girl we meet, every party we attend, we are like the free birds and that is how we are. as I said there is no right or wrong.

And yes, there is a confused lot as well, who wiegh the pros and cons as if making a business deal. This is apart from the ones who fear the possibility of rejection.

So for all the women in love, don't wait for the guy of your dreams to say those 3 magical words, you can say it too for "You don't really understand being a women until you have been with a Man"

Namita Kohli said...

hey atul,
Some great inputs there... :-)

JK said...

Its sort of Generalization. Not all men are Shy and Inarticulate and not all women are Out spoken!! It depends on the individual and the environment they are brought up!!

Namita Kohli said...

JK,
My intention is not to generalize the subject... Its just an opinion about some men who are inexpressive.. Its an attempt to seek reasons for them to be so... I agree all men are not the same:-)

Diwakar said...

Hi! Your views were almost revolutionary for the women who feel the same way. But for me "Women are Unpredictable". I think, women are initially too scared to get into relationships. They take a lot of time in building trust over someone. It's good in a way but at the same time it makes them behave in feminine way. And I bet you will agree that men are more emotional at least when they are attached to some one.