Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A new beginning...




It's almost 1 year and 6 months when i started this blog, a time when there was an ocean of emotions and thoughts going on inside me. Though my newly attained enthusiasm was soon dampened by procrastination to pick up a pen & paper and my inherent weakness to write with the keyboard(sounds so old-fashioned i know).. As a consequence, my blog went into complete hibernation, just after the one and only post, which was a poem dedicated to a close friend of mine.

But thanks to my year long experience in IT industry, now I am more comfortable expressing myself electronically, although I still believe, it can never replace the charm and feel of writing with my most treasured fountain pen. So finally I have decided to log in again and this time, to stay longer. And as the name goes to restart my journey to discover my own soul.

The motivation to come back here is primarily the realisation that writing is my forte, my passion and I need to pursue it, to stay calm, to stay contented as well connected, to stay happy and most importantly to "BE ME". I completely thank my bugging software engineering job for this realisation which is bound to be a a reason for many future consequences.

Amongst the depths and lengths of on going war of thoughts in my mind, heart and soul, there is something that has been peculiarly bothering me for a while now. And it's the curiosity to know, why do we at times run from the things we enjoy the most. Surprisingly, it's not only with me but with almost everyone I meet in my monotonous daily routine. The striking fact is most of them are aware about what they enjoy doing but still they tend to postpone it for other things which in many cases could be more materialistic. For instance, even though I know writing would give me more satisfaction, still I end up delegating that time for other chores, probably looking for a more paying or an exciting job on the internet. I agree there are times when one needs to be practical and do the more urgent things first but as of now that is not the case with me. So,eventually I end up cursing myself.

Why at times it seems so difficult to follow your heart, your basic instincts, despite knowing the fact, that it's easiest to do the things that you really wish to do! There are questions, questions & more questions and I have started an intensive search to find answers to all of them. And, I am hopeful that i shall find them sooner or later.

I have been wondering all these days, what to write? It isn't that I am clueless, just that I have too many concerns in my mind and its difficult to sort them and choose one. I am still in the process of priortising. Unfortunately priortising always makes my mind go merry go round and make me restless. There are so many parameters on which I can priortise, personal, professional, social, cultural, so on and so forth. Since there is no materialistic purpose attached with my intentions to write, I think I can take the liberty to choose it with a personal perspective.

There is one issue that has been "haunting" me for a long time now, it is my unfortunate CAT result. A lot of people have been telling me that there is for sure an opportunity in this failure, well ideally I should not be calling it a failure, because it is in no way a yardstick to measure my talent and intellect. Although, I am not completely convinced with this conclusion, but somehow I have come to believe that things happen for a good and I may reap the fruits of this good sometime in future.



I have no doubts that I'll make a succesful life. I am not competing with anyone but ME. And in this competetion, I may make choices that many people find vague or even irrelevant but I will anyway make them. I know those choices would make me happy and that is what matters at the END.

Apart from career choices and education other issues that might find way into myblog are relationships(a topic I can go on & on & on), contentment in life, discovery of some extraordinary soul in ordinary surroundings, reviews, or just life like that sort of stuff... It's also been more than a year, since I last jotted down a poem, so that is also on the list...

So friends, just stay in touch with this discovery of soul for more posts..
This time the journey would surely be a long one..
Smile till I log in again :-)