AGE: Why do women fear growing up???

Hey friends, I am back, though after a long gap. But this time in box is something that women have always feared, the phobia of growing old. Go ahead with the read and I hope you would enjoy it.

An 11-year old is all eager and excited to get into teens and a 16-year old girl can’t wait to turn 18. Then, why is, that just a day before your 20th birthday you tell your age precisely to be nineteen. What is the big deal about crossing the thirty or the forty barrier? Why most women fear growing up? Why a sense of insecurity compels you to hide your age?

Age has always been an issue in our society especially with the fairer sex. It is sort of paradoxical that when we are young, we are too eager to grow up and after a stage the very act of asking a girl’s age is considered rude in a civilized society. But, why do we run from the reality? One needs to realize that age is a natural phenomenon and it is not limited to a mesh of numbers. It is about your thoughts, about how you perceive life and react to various situations. In simple words, age lies in the state of mind and beats of the heart.

We are living in an era where women have started coming out of the closets and they are becoming more open about issues that were earlier considered taboo. And, amongst all these, even age is becoming a casual attribute. Gone are the days, when age was the yardstick by which the world judged you. The new mantra is that “Don’t ask a woman’s salary!” contrary to the earlier saying which said, “Don’t ask a woman’s age!” Age discrimination has been a long existed concept. But today, there are also women who gracefully accept their age, no matter they are 35 or 45or even 60. Infact, the prime reason for many older women gaining lot of popularity in their workplace or society is that they are quite comfortable with disclosing their age. For some one who likes to learn about all the new gizmos and gadgets and pick a few words from the youthful lingo, age is not at all an issue.

You can easily match your steps with the younger generation provided you are truthful about your age as it helps you to be a more confident and smart. The elegance itself embraces your persona and eventually makes the younger lot look at you with a lot of respect and admiration. Also people who come across you like to emulate and learn from your experiences. It is actually sad to see people who are coy about their age. Learn to take pride in growing a year older. Life is an absolutely precious book and one must live its each chapter with equal enthusiasm and happiness. Don’t be ashamed or bothered just because you are on the verge of the 50 Th chapter of this book and your hair have started turning grey. No doubt, everyone is possessive about their looks, the flawless skin, the long and satin-silky hair, all of which are bound to lose their lusture as you turn old. But the trick is simple, if you are happy and proud about all those years you have lived through, your face and persona will glow with an undefinable vibrance and sheen. Even the wrinkles and lines of aging will add beauty to your appearance.

Hiding your age is a self-defeating concept. It reflects signs of weakness and a tarnished aura. It is all about how you choose to accept growing older that makes hell lot of a difference. In today’s times age is too short a word to describe someone as an individual or judge his/her capabilities and caliber.

You can be 50 and still be going around. You can be a mother of two and still be clad in that sexy black dress that you wore when you were eighteen.
You just need to remember that you define yourself by how you feel, what you do, how open minded you are towards changes in the society and not by how old you are. After all, you have worked hard enough to reach where you are. So just love and live proudly every minute of every year of your life. Despite hiding or lying about your age sing it out loud and clear and see how easily you can shut the gobs of those narrow minded people just by the confidence and dignity you hold in that number called age.

Flaunt your age till I login again:-)

Media - Growing beyond limits...

There has been a phenomenal progress of India into the age of modernization and liberal thinking. Advent of new technologies, foreign investments, or global partnerships in the field of IT and computers, every change has come with a big bang. And, amongst all this, there is one sector, which correlates all these developments on the world platform. It is the very influencing “Media”. The face of print as well electronic media has transformed into a form that appeals to every section of the society. With all these developments, the debate of print media versus electronic media is also stirring up. But, the fact is that newspapers have always had a mind of their own. Role of press in freedom struggle or the worst days of emergency cannot be forgotten at any cost. Print media was the voice of the nation when satellite TV and 24 hours news channels did not existed. Moreover, in practical terms, reach of newspapers and magazines is far beyond the TV.

We are living in an era, which is completely driven by media and advertising. There has been a drastic change in the news reporting techniques and “yellow” journalism has become the trick of the business. Media, in its new form has the power to “brain wash” people and put words into their mouths. One word or one statement can make or break the society. Media has to aim at larger social good. On its way to expansion, it has made some noticeable impacts on society.

# Media has played a constructive role in spreading awareness about various social issues. Women empowerment, social advertisements on AIDS awareness, family planning, educating the girl child, had it not been the boom in the television and advertising industry, we would not have moved a little above the base line.

# Media has become central to public life and politics. Media shapes public opinion, reports and interprets various political events.

# Media has successfully put India on the international map of popular nations. Today, India is looked upon as a country with extreme potential in almost all fields. It is also responsible for the economic growth of the nation, increase in international trade and development in financial institutions. Media itself is an industry with lot of potential.

# Credit of popularity of Indian fashion industry also goes to advertising and communication. It has helped a lot in attracting international buyers to invest in India. What more, today we have specialized studies in fashion journalism.

# Co-existence of so many brands of one product is possible due to the magic of advertisements, which is yet another indispensable part of media.

Unfortunately, in some cases it has also spread the wrong message of “End justifies the means”. Some of the negative impacts on the society are:

# India is a huge country with a population over 100 million. So there are enough news stories from a comrade of news channels that are being delivered right in our living rooms. But the reality is that in order to raise TRPs news channels are either reporting information more than required or the much important issues are being neglected. Gossips have become a trading trick and they are packaged in a way that undermines the reality and main stories.

# Only a fool would deny that hundreds of hours of exposure to visual and verbal images of human depravity will have negative effects on young developing minds. TV and movies are a prime source of inspiration when it comes to youth expressing themselves by acts of violence. There are many TV shows that depict family breakdown, single parent household, high divorce rates and unwedded mothers. Very little is being done to stop the vulgarity and sexual immorality in TV shows which can’t even be segregated with A or U certificates as in the case of movies.

# Advertising too has an impact on society, especially on values and lifestyle. It plays a major role in influencing social values and has become a kind of a social guide. It encourages extravagant expectations.

# Last but not the least, media influences our lifestyle too. The clothes we wear, the accessories we sport and the shoes we buy, every thing is influenced by the trends set by the media and fashion industry. Even when we go out to buy furniture to redecorate our interiors, e emulate what we see on television, or in fashion or lifestyle magazines. Every teenager wants to be with whatever is “in”, in order to be popular. The youth today wears “right” clothes, listen the “right” music, watches the “right” TV shows and movies and be at the “right” place to hang out. In doing all these “right & in” things individuality and innovation of our young minds is being lost. It is even increasing the gap between the rich and poor.

What is needed in the present scenario is media literacy. It involves correctly comprehending, interpreting and analyzing both print and electronic media. Wrong interpretations can create chaos in the society. Print and electronic media must work hand in hand to for the benefit of the society.

Happy surfing till I login again :-)

Is 13 the new 18???

“A consumerist, urban animal living in a cocooned society that is busy eating McDonald’s burgers, freaking out with pals and chasing the original American dream of making it big.” I read this somewhere, and it made me think about a very predominant social change that is encompassing India, especially the metros. It is the way a child is being groomed and nurtured. It is the sheer loss of innocence in a child, at a much early age than it used to be say a decade ago.

This is what mirrors the modern youth. The young one’s today are like a rudderless ship without direction. They might have fastened their seat belts but they have nowhere to go. But the question here is that what is it that has changed the psychology of this new age teenager to this extent?

Over the past decade the country has gone through social, economical, technological and cultural changes. Some of them being favorable & some refutable. Change: you can love it or you can hate it, but you certainly can’t ignore it. And as they say, “Change is the only constant”. Change is a cause that has to be succeeded by an effect: good or bad. A culmination of various factors has been responsible for the change in the scenario of Indian society and shaping up of the new millennium 13- year old.

It is very much evident that there is a combination of factors that influence the average Indian teenager. And the influence has been profound on the psychological development of a child. Influence of the west and impact of the media have made such deep inroads in our society that they have shaken the very roots of our culture. Broadly there are 5 prominent reasons for the birth of all-new adolescents with a broader & bigger vision of life but at the same time a very materialistic and unhealthy generation of youth.

# Media in all its forms: TV, Internet, Lifestyle Magazines, Much hyped Page3 journalism, Advertising, Video games has been largely responsible. The Internet is the most essential component of new literacy with its endless library of resources. But the dangers inherent in this relatively uncontrolled ‘wired’ world are many and varied. A wise parent should aim at protecting children while allowing them to reap the rich benefits in a safe environment. TV has become one of the most popular medium of entertainment in every home. But certain programs may encourage irresponsible sexual behaviour. Instead TV should act as a powerful teacher imparting lessons on various issues. If a program talks about pre-marital sex it must talk about STDs and harms of teenage pregnancies. Furthermore the popularity of child reality shows distracts them from academics by luring them to instant fame.

# Improved Economic status of families: Since most families in metros have means, they over pamper their children financially and emotionally, making them fearless enough to do wrongs with courage.

# Peer pressure: This factor has always existed but in the recent times the competition has taken an ugly face where winning and to be “in” with the crowd is what all matters. Alcohol, drugs and sex, teens do it all under the influence of friends.

# Cultural and social changes: Indian society as a whole has gone through a renaissance of sorts. We are more candid about issues that were earlier considered taboo. Although it has made us more progressive but the mind of a 13- year old is not mature enough to take certain things in their stride. Influence of the west might have made us more contemporary and practical but it should be ensured that young children don’t get taken away by the ills of the west.

# Technological advancements: Increased crime, the craze to show off latest gizmos have all been the result of new scientific technology. We must ensure that technology should be used for betterment and not as a yardstick to measure who has the “coolest gadget” amongst adolescents.

The new generation has no role models to look up to. And the new age parent has no time to foster certain values in their children and they assuage the guilt by material gifts. Every one is too busy chasing a dream that will take them nowhere. Compassion and commitment have no meaning in today’s India.The new millennium teens have all that it takes to be a successful and  globalized Indian but what they lack is the direction in which their energies should be diverted in order to have a constructive and fruitful end for the individual as well the nation. But for this to happen the media will have to be socially responsible, parents need to spend time and nurture their children with love and proper guidance. Technology should land in the hands of who can make the best of it and peers should work together for the good of all. Youth is the most important resource of a nation and its overwhelming to see that our youth has high spirits, but parents, teachers and media needs to make sure that their spirits yield a beautiful and bright tomorrow for the country.

Live-in is "IN"...

Hi guys, here is a peice, dedicated to one of the most controversial issues our our times. The views here belong more to my reading of perceptions of people around and the changing Indian mindset.
The past decade has seen numerous changes in the Indian mindset and perceptions. Things that were considered taboo or too westernized are now becoming acceptable in the Indian context. And one such concept that has gained immense popularity in the past few years is the "Live in relationship". Though, at times it comes as a shocker that a society that was once averse to a bare minimum interaction between a couple who is engaged to get married, is now widening its horizons to accept various forms of relationships with open arms. The phenomenon of an open relationship, commitment without being legally called as man and wife is here, and it is here to stay. Even if the concept is found to be predominant in the metros and cosmopolitan cities, there are also those who move from small cities, try the option of moving in with their future life partners. As they say, men and women all over the world are same, so it is not surprising to see a trend that has already been popular in the US and UK find its way into India. "If you love someone, & you are committed, why do you need to get a legal marital certificate to live and be sexually involved with him/her", this is the argument you come across from most lovebirds now a days. But it is imperative to take stock of some very basic issues before you decide to take the plunge. Don’t "live in" just because it is "in". You are going to share your life with someone, and eventually, the whole thing will impact you mentally, emotionally and physically. Let’s first look at the reasons for this sudden trend of Live in relationships.

# Indians are now open to experimentation: Unlike the previous generation, the youth today is open to experimenting, be it career, relationships or sexuality. The entire woman's movement has made women more comfortable with expressing their sexuality and thus, they are open to test waters before they decide to get married. Issues that were considered taboo and shameful even to discuss about, are now being respectfully accepted. Though, unwedded mothers is still a concept that is not welcome in India, but a girl and boy in love staying under one roof is finding its way into the Indian home.

# Break up of joint family system: The joint family system is diminishing and the entire value system is changing. Youth living away from their "conservative" families have more space to express their freedom of thought. If the person loves someone, he/she wants to be entirely a part of their partner, and so the option of "living in" comes handy. Moreover, the present day youth has more freedom in terms of choosing their life partner, unlike the past when parents used to find a suitable match. The concept is changing and it is being happily accepted by many parents.

# Delaying marriage: There are various reasons for delaying marriage for many couples in love. Some feel the need to pursue higher studies, some have responsibilities to fulfill, before they take the marriage vows, so for them this concept of "marriage but no marriage" fits in perfectly. Move in together, live like man and wife without the extra baggage. It’s simple and yet gives you the option to start a life with your future partner as soon as you want to.

# Lacking belief in the institution of marriage: There are many who do not believe in the institution of marriage due to their past experience. It could be that come of them have seen their parents or siblings in unsuccessful marriages. Or some might have themselves had a bad marriage. Such people want to try out something different. Believe it or not, everyone needs a companion, it’s just that they choose a different way to pursue companionship. Also, there are many who move past the marriageable age. Someone in his 40s would seek a partner with different expectations, they may just move in together rather than going through the rituals and complexities of marriage. Some feel marriage kills the charm and passion of love. There is a "take it for granted" kind of a feeling. Couples also see a slight insecurity in a live in relation and believe that the insecurity will help them keep the fire alive.

I personally believe that sexuality and relationships have nothing to do with values, each one of us has a different value system, there is nothing right or wrong. It is completely an individual's choice to say 'I do" or not, to marry or to live in, to believe in pre/post marital sex. But before you decide to live in, make sure it is a well thought and well analyzed decision. Though, it may seem there is no responsibility involved, eventually there will be enormous responsibilities that you both would need to share. Be clear about your expectations from the relation. Even if you are not intensely emotional about each other in the beginning, eventually you would develop a strong affection, so "no strings" attached theory will not work for long. And of course, for all the women, make sure you have a heart to heart "child talk" before you two decide to move in. Because, you never know when the precautions don’t work. Be prepared about the consequences and how are you going to deal with them.

Nevertheless, the issue is still controversial, and everyone has there own take. Reader's inputs are welcome. Just few lines to add,

"Ishq mein kuch na munasib nahin hai,
zamaana toh nasaaz gaar karega,
par iss ishq ko dabaa de,
kisi ki itni zuraat nahin hai"

So till I login again Happy Living In:-)