Love???

Just one simple question to begin this post, have you ever sat and thought, "What is Love":-) I am sure almost all of you must have atleast once... So what were your respective answers... Well here is an account of the answers I have got on different occassions when I have simply asked myself, What does love mean... :-)

Love, a feeling, an emotion, an expression, a dream, a smile, an ecstasy... so many words yet an experience difficult to put into words.I sit back and think…The most splendid and beautiful emotion of life, love. How do I define it? Is it even possible to define this emotion which is so magnificent, so wonderful?

I look around and think of someone, who first made me feel special or made me feel "loved". I dig deep down memory lane; I am reminded of the days when my mother's tender touch made me feel "loved". Her concern, her care, and the way she would be anxious for me every passing moment even when she was not around. Those evenings come to my mind when I desperately waited at the gate for my loving mum to come home from work. That was my emotion, my "expression of love" for her. Although back then I was too immature to understand this feeling.

Similar were the moments when my dad brought home toys and chocolates to see an unending joy and smile on my face. The way he pampered me, the way he got upset and he still does when a tear trickles down my eye.
Those were the very first and most memorable times of my life, when I realized that I am "special, I am dear to someone and someone "selflessly loves" me.

I move ahead and flip across the pages of the most cherished chapters of my life... A phase of life that belongs to the beautiful flowers, which brighten the garden of my life forever, flowers called friends. I close my eyes to remember the games we played together, the pranks, the parties, the unending gossips, calls till the wee hours of morning, the struggle for marks, bunking classes, writing on desks, crushes so exciting, getting wet in the rains... there is so much that comes to my mind. Emotions and moments are a part of the very core of my heart. A helping hand that is always there for me, some absolutely amazing people who are just a call away. They are an integral part of me with whom I share every secret, every thought, every joy, and every sorrow. They mean "love" to me.

As I go through some of the most special and pleasing pictures of my life, I realize that there have been so many people around who "love" me. I lie down, relax and try to look in future... A future that promises peace, serenity and again "love"... Love of that someone so so special, love that I have never experienced before, love so new in its meaning, so magnificent in its existence. In the mirror of future I see the one with whom I will walk by the coming years of my life, forever & ever, till death parts us. Someone whose presence gives my life new dreams, a new meaning, a new dimension. Someone who gives me moments that make life more beautiful than ever before. That "someone" also means "love" to me...

Family, Friends, people who know me, who get to know my emotions even before I express them, all of them "love" me. Love, a feeling that has so many shades to it, an emotion that can not be associated with one single person or one single event. Love, it is something that cannot be categorized. We love our parents, friends, siblings, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancée... the list is endless.

Love is an emotion that two people share who know each other's mind and heart, by simply looking at the other person's very first facial expression. Love is a connection between two hearts. Love is something that can only be expressed by the warmth of eyes, joy of a smile, a tender touch. Love is beyond we express, beyond we feel, and beyond we see. Love is someone who stands with you in the darkest hour of your life.
Life is difficult, full of trials, obstacles, ups and the downs, fears, pains and sorrows...."Love" makes life beautiful and worth living....

Feel the feeling of love and smile till I login again :-)

I owe it to you!!!

You came in my life, as a pleasant breeze,
with you came a euphoria, I wish would never end,
I closed my eyes, and held your hand,
to be lost forever, in a world never seen before,
You showed me the path to love…

My dreams were yours, my smiles belonged to you,
every tear in my eye, was whenever you felt low,
seeds of joy and ecstasy, together we sowed,
Immense pleasure and peace to my life, you gave,
I cherish the day, in my life you came…

Memories of the moments spent with you,
and the evenings we spent together,
leaves of good times, I pick and gather,
World of no concern, only you who matters,
You are my dream, my destination,
For me, God’s most wonderful creation…

You came in my life, it was destiny,
moments memorable, in future will be many,
a phase of life to live forever,
a fragrance, a beat, a musical note,
so precious is every word you quote…

My expressions speak more than my words do,
One fear the bothers me,
what would I be without you,
You are a part of me, my identity includes you,
I owe my life to you, you and only you…

Smile till I login again:-)

Are men shy or are they genetically inexpressive???

Hi guys, Sorry for the long-long break, but here I am, back again with something that has always fascinated me, the so-called male psyche in relationships. Most men complain that it’s the women who are complicated. But, some how, I am of the opinion that it isn’t either easy to understand men. It takes time, dedication, patience and nurturing lasting bonds before you get to the core of a man’s heart and mind, be it your father, brother, friend, husband, boyfriend. So taking this interesting topic ahead, let me today talk about something that all women must have felt at some time in their life. Are men really shy in expressing themselves, or is it they are just programmed to be so, quiet and inexpressive of their emotions in love.

Men are usually uneasy with relationships. When a man feels something for a woman, he takes a lot of time to come to terms with this feeling. At first there is dilemma to segregate love from lust since both are integral to a man’s psychology. Well, it is integral to female psychology also, but I believe a woman easily distinguish between the true love and a mere physical attraction or infatuation. Women are more intelligent, I guess:-) Jokes apart, men often can’t differentiate between subtle differences in variations of their own thoughts. So in such a state they have no option but to refrain from acceptance of the eternal truth of falling in love. Moreover, men usually try to find logic in everything even the emotions they experience, which is practically impossible. Emotions and logic doesn’t go hand in hand.:-)

It seems that genetically, beautiful sensitivities like love and emotions don’t really go well with the male: the chauvinist and impregnable version of a homo sapien. What is the reason behind men not being very indicative about their feelings for a woman, the woman who rule their minds, hearts and dreams. Is it fear, confusion, ego, nonchalance, or diffidence? The answer varies in content and extent from person to person. Men remain inexpressive of their inmost feelings for different reasons. Many of my male friends would agree, men are generally shy or hesitant when they propose the girl of their dreams for the first time. Many men try and act cool that it doesn’t really matter but the fact remains that it is not easy for any human being to accept rejection in any sphere of life. But for those who are already in a relationship, its not fear of rejection or diffidence. The extent to which they express largely depends on the level of seriousness and commitment involved. There are some who bear the notion that it’s not “manly” to be emotional. According to surveys, men who are emotional understand a woman better. But even an emotional man would not be as open and as good with words as a woman would be. For the simple reason, that they can't blabber, they cant repeat the same thing again and again in different ways, they just try to keep things SIMPLE.:-)

Different men have different circumstances and thus have different ways of their expression of love and affection. Some believe that it’s just the confusion that makes men less candid in love. Men are too engrossed in their usual boys stuff that they in most cases neither desire nor dare to look deep inside and ask themselves “ how deeply they feel for a girl”? Also, in some circumstances, pain from past changes the way someone  lives in the present and future. Life is unfair, relationships are queer, and ego multiplies the extent of complexity in love. And that can be another reason that stop men from being loud about their love interests. A lot of men are waiting for the fresh change where women take on the brave act of proposing. Women have always been asking for equal rights, so why don’t they rightfully play the part of initiating a relationship. Surveys show that guys adore and admire women making the first move. Well, no doubt we have quite an ample number of bold gals to answer back to such egoistic freaks. Times have changed and girls unapologetically and gracefully say “I do” before their man says so.

Last but not the least, we have the commitment phobic men. They fear expressing their love as expression strengthens a relation further and takes it a step nearer to commitment. So probably when we say men shy away, it’s like virtually saying they shy away from commitment, from responsibility and from solemnizing a relation with a strong and firm foundation. Men can commit to education, career, work and to hobbies and their passions, but when it comes to committing to a girl they get jitters that shake them to the core. Man-Woman relationship has always been a point of contention and it will remain so for many years to come. It is because this relation is so very dynamic; it has so many unpredictable and irrational dimensions. It is in simple words human behavior that changes each moment, each day. Women feel men are less expressive but may be it’s just in the relative sense, as men believe women are over expressive.:-)

There are questions in life that don’t have exact answers and when questions pertain to relationships, there can’t be any politically and emotionally correct ones. So for all those men out their who had been inexpressive in voicing their deepest emotions hidden inside the core of their heart, just know that faith makes all things possible and love makes all things easy. All you hot hunks, and cool guys out there just take it easy. If you have faith in your heart and love in your sight, just go ahead and bring the two together and say it, say it aloud to the girl of your dreams, to your fiancée, or even to the beautiful lady whom you married 10 years ago. The magic of those three golden word, ”I Love you” will fill your life with a new meaning each time you say them. So don’t shy away, just express, and express with a charm, with an attitude that sweeps your girl off her feet.

And for all you women out there, here’s a little piece of advice,

Men are strange creatures,
They’ll hate you; they’ll irritate you,
They’ll call you emotional fools,
They’ll tease you with stupid names,
They’ll deny you; they’ll defy you,
They can be shy or bold,
But their breaths are in your hold,
Beneath all fears, beneath all pretence,
The truth prevails; they cant live without you,
Yes, indeed, Oh! Woman, the man is incomplete without you!!!

So try understanding your man and smile till I login again :-)

I am SHE!

Excuse me.. Before you jump to any conclusion from the title that the post is about Sushmita Sen's newly launched platform about choosing Miss Universe participant from the country, it has nothing to do with it. Somehow for the contents that I am going to pour in the next few stanzas, I could not find a better caption. Also a warning for all the boys, the post can be really boring for you, as for the female gang, I am sure you would love to read this... :-) Still the boys can also give it a shot, if they are fond of reading or if they are a fan of my writings:-)

"Elegance" and "Charisma" are characteristics of a true woman, a subtle smile can win more hearts than a loud laughter, a shy twinkle in the eye can be more captivating than a candid eye contact, those tiny-miny shorts can look really hot & sexy but an elegant evening dress or a stylish sari can gather much more attention, a graceful walk can add a strong feminine factor to someone’s persona, the art of laying the table can fetch more appreciation than ways of handling a high profile board meeting, pampering at a spa, diamonds and handbags, long silky hair left unopened, high heels & perfectly pedicured feet, makes you feel "SHE". Have you ever wondered that where did you actually learnt these gestures that make you a WOMAN, that make you FEMININE.

Just go back in time and you would find the answer. While growing up you were always taught to be “prim & proper” when you went out to play, a birthday party, or a fancy dress, you were asked to "behave yourself" when there were guests at home, you were taught to be polite and nice, even in your all guys gang you were supposed to behave like a “girl”, it was you who got “barbies and soft toys” as birthday gifts:-) (makes me feel nostalgic). Unknowingly, you were being taught to grow up as a symbol of femininity, to grow up as a model of grace, to grow up to be a "perfect woman"...

I am sure my article might grab the attention of a lot of feminists who might not agree with my viewpoint and may blame me for representing women as demure, docile, weak and just an object of desire, so let me clarify I have no such intention, and being a young girl of the new millennium, I am all for a world full of independent and confident women. But there would always be things that makes a woman feel truly feminine, and the pleasure of being so, is all for herself to enjoy. After all, which girl does not like to look beautiful, feel beautiful, on the outside as well the inside. Though, femininity is something that a woman is born with, its there within her, in her heart, in her mind, in her body and in her soul. It’s something that makes a woman happy, confident, and lucky to be born as a woman:-) So, what’s the harm, if some women want to glorify their womanhood or polish their girlish charms by adding something external, which could be perfumes, flowers, dresses, heels, lipsticks, bangles, danglers and the list is endless… There are many for whom femininity is about being pampered by your man, being completely spoilt by your boyfriend, getting married, or for that matter experience the charms of motherhood...

A feminine woman can at the same time be a successful bureaucrat, a top notch CEO, an enthusiast sportsperson, so and so forth. These are just opposite faces of the same coin. Every dimension of being a woman are present in every girl, it depends on an individual that which of these dimensions are dominant. But, you may ask any woman, of any age group, all of them want to look, feel and be feminine. It is kind of inherent. And so is true with men, given an option any guy would want her girl to have the grace of talk, walk, attitude and persona. It’s the softness of "her" words that attract him more than her knowledge on "politics and economy". There are many women who might have enjoyed the thrill of being tom boyish, being in a rowdy gang of guys, doing all sorts of boyish stuff from climbing trees to playing video games, to go on treks and adventurous car rides, to get drunk and try being a chain smoker. But all that can never match the ecstasy of getting pampered at a spa, getting a sexy haircut, shopping endlessly for clothes and accessories, getting your make up done at a parlor, the thrill and excitement of wearing a sari for the first time in your life, the first time a guy holds your hand, the moment of entering your wedding hall, the feeling you got when you got into your bridal outfit…

I know of so many friends who had never even filed their nails in their teens, and now, in their 20's they want everything to be perfect from their hair to hands to feet. Every accessory they own is like a precious piece of gold for them, they wait for an occasion to dress up in a typical Indian outfit, they want every crease on their “much envied by others” black dress to be just right... (mind you I am talking of girls who have spent their quarter of their lives in ganjis and shorts). At some moment or other a girl's feminine side always comes out of the closet and makes her feel like a princess. "Naaz aur Nakhre" is what makes a woman feminine. "Sharam aur Haya" is what makes a “girl” transform into a “woman”. And the transformation can actually be the most beautiful and memorable phase of a girl’s life.

Femininity is something that makes you realize that you are the creator of life. So you deserve to feel and be special in your own right. Its when you value yourself, its when you feel lucky to have been born as a woman, its when your smile says more you’re your words, its when your walk adds to the elegance of your attire, its when you can be confident and demure at the same time, its when you change into a skirt from a business casual you become an all together different woman, its when you feel truly truly beautiful, its when you can make your partner feel like the luckiest man on earth by the thought of having you by his side...
Its when there comes a voice from your inner self that, I AM SHE:-)

So till I login again, feel feminine and smile your way to being a true woman from the inside and the outside...

My random definition of success..

Hi guys...
Just scribbled something after a pleasant evening with friends... Though it has nothing to do with the idiotic yet fun filled talks that I had with them... :-) Still felt like sharing it...

Some intellectual person said, and I find it so true....

"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you won't.
Success begins with your own will.
It’s all in your state of mind."

Success is nothing but a state of mind. It is based on how we view things relating to our life and career. Success does not only mean obtaining material possessions or career status. True success lies in genuine satisfaction, happiness and contentment with yourself and the world around you. There is no fixed "Mantra" for success. For every individual the meaning and definition of success is different. The significance of an achievement does not lie in the fact, how big or small it is, but it lies in the joy and satisfaction it gives the achiever. With the passage of time, our ambitions and dreams change. As we grow in age, as our lives go through different circumstances and situations, our priorities and perceptions about various things change. Success in one line is translating intention into reality. The most crucial step towards success is SELF-ASSESSMENT. A person, who is able to realize his true potential, is always a step closer to achievement than his counterparts. Effective action is based on true self-expression.

# Do what gives you happiness.
# Do what you are best at.
# Do what you thoroughly enjoy doing.

Before taking any task, ask yourself two questions:
# What you want?
# What are your abilities and where your aptitude lies?

Quite often, there exists a gap between what you want to achieve and your capacities, resources and values. Understanding where personal and professional goals and beliefs differ allow you to make more informed choices. There comes a time in everyone's life when one starts evaluating his or her success. At this point, one starts looking at the sacrifices made along the way and what has one got in return of all the effort, blood and sweat. Some realize that the price paid to reach success was too high. So always ensure that you should not do something that makes you repent after a few years. Compete but don't compromise. Stick to your principles and what you believe is ethically correct.

It is not easy to bring a dream into reality. Without commitment and desire no action is fruitful. Any desire should partner commitment. Difference between desire and drive is the difference between expressing yourself and proving yourself. Desire complemented with drive is rewarding and productive. Never be scared to express your desires but ensure a firm commitment which further requires focus and dedication.

# Don't be a follower, be a trendsetter.
Those who blindly follow the trends always end up being mediocre. Just remember anyone can be famous, rich and known. What is required is to discover one's hidden talents and potentials and appropriate action to tap them. One needs to discover the field in which one can extraordinarily excel.

Success cannot be categorized. Its horizons are as vast as the sky and ofcourse; "Sky is the limit". Truly enjoying life, family, friends, work and all that life has to offer is "Success". So just look deep into your self and discover what can make you successful.

Have a happy search with your definition of success and smile till I login again... :-)

Deceptive Emotions..

Moving in the paths of life,
I came across a face,
chasing the dreams of life,
I noticed a smile,
as life ceased for a while...

Those innocent eyes and the infectious smile,
the charm so pleasing,
thoughts and words, all so amazing,
the genuineness of every expression,
emotions full of love and affection,
so true and tender in every action...

Oh! so unfortunate was the day, I met you,
something that I admired,
was just the appearance,
what lay ahead was a menace...

Appearances are deceptive, how true,
I realised when I met you,
someone who appeared so full of life,
was so hollow and empty inside,
never judge from the looks I learnt,
your gestures left my heart hurt...

Emotions and feelings I felt for me,
a friend forever, to be,
care and concern as far I could see,
a mere fantasy it was,
leaving behind harsh scars...

People come and go,
to move on is what I know,
blanking out the past,
carrying forward memories to treasure,
to come across some, is a nightmare,
to meet a few, is a pleasure,
to go on, move on,
be at peace in mind and heart, is life's art...

Religious: Are you sure?

Hi people,

I am back again feeling "really" good about the fact that I am finally able to devote the much deserved time to my "first love", writing:-) And strangely, I actually am able to think about topics, which till a few months back were completely out of sync with my thinking frequency or I should aptly put it as things that were beyond the domain and intelligence quotient of my queer brain:-)

"Religion" has always been something, about which I have had very unclear thoughts. Though, I am still not very sure about what it is, why it is, where did it actually originate, how is it different from its new counter part spirituality.. Still, I am just making an amateur attempt to try and sum up some random thoughts about the most debatable political and social issue of our times.. So in case any of my random thoughts seem incorrect or unethical or immoral, I mean NO OFFENCE to anyone and I apologize.. I am not making any statement here, or not trying to criticize anybody else's point of me. What I am jotting down in the next few stanzas are just my opinion which you may or may not agree with. And anyways, I believe that "Religion is to each their own".
I go to the "Gurudwara" once a week. I clasp my hands, close my eyes, and say a prayer, twice a day. I visit the temple on special occasions, I look towards the almighty when I am not in the best of my spirits, and I share my desires in my personal talk with GOD. There are many like me and there are many who do even more. So can we all take pride in calling ourselves RELIGIOUS. I have doubts.. Had going to a sacred place of worship, solely being considered religion, there would have been very few atheists. Religion for me is much more than that, or I can say it is something completely beyond all these day to day practices.

You go to the temple everyday, perform rituals in the well ornated and embellished, marble polished temple in your "pooja room" at home, but during the day you wrong a hundred people whom you come across in your business deals. I doubt you conform to be called religious or may be you can be called religious but in no means spiritual. Well, that brings me to the point of contention, how does the two terms differ, religion and spirituality. In simple terms, according to me, religion is specific, while spirituality is holistic. Spirituality is nothing but a kind of self awareness. Ironically it’s more to do with non-materialistic self awareness rather than materialistic. Though, in no way spirituality teaches you to be a saint, you don’t really have to bereft or abstain yourself from the luxuries and whims & fancies of the world. You don’t really have to change your attire to saffron kurtas and jholas. You could be as "hep" as the latest model in town and yet be spiritual. It just teaches you not to be dependent or bound by the chains of your mind's and heart's unending desires. It just connects you to a greater power that lies above the world somewhere in the universe.

I know its getting a little too much and too heavy:-) But all these "seemingly saintly" thoughts are a by product my many months of thought process. And I think, I can't find a better sink than my very own blog to share it with the world. And trust me these thoughts have made me a much more peaceful human being. So you have a reason to go on and finish this read.:-)

For that matter, even for religion, it’s something that is not too much dependent on materialistic desires. Though I am not completely against those who say that it’s GOD only from whom you can ask for. (I personally believe in the, "dawa se dua behtar & khuda se maang kar sab milta hai philosophy) But someone once told me, "The best prayer is when you can feel the presence of GOD, anywhere, anytime. when you can close your eyes and just ask for the power and will to believe in the almighty, to have faith, and to love none but GOD. That is the most true kind of prayer and that is what makes you truly religious." And I have come to believe that’s where religion and spirituality amalgamate in each other as two souls in one body. Don't pray for a purpose, don't pray for a reason, pray for your very existence as a human, to connect your external self to your internal powers. Sounds a little too much, coming from someone who is still in her 20's... :-) May be I realized it a little earlier than the rest of you would.

I am already above my set limit of words I had planned to write and I still have so much more to say. Well if you are tired sitting in front of your computer screen, or your boss is standing on your head watching what you are doing, come back after a while but don’t skip it half way :-)

Religion and spirituality, both are very subjective matters, so it is kind of difficult to comment objectively and answer objective questions about them. But, what bothers me most in today's times is the misuse of religion by all sects of people for their own benefit. The more stature you have in society, the more easily you can define or defy laws of the religious scriptures and text. Somewhere, religion and wealth go hand in hand in this age of corruption. If you have one, it automatically grants you the power to play with the other. I shall not get into the statics and dynamics of this, since that would require an entirely separate post. So let’s leave that for some other time.

Religion is goodness of the soul. You may not visit a place of worship for a decade but still you could be religious, if you can connect to the inner goodness of your soul, and implement the same by being kind and understanding with family, friends, colleagues or even by giving a helping hand to someone who is a complete stranger. You can be religious by just sharing a little amount of your hugely amassed wealth and few minutes of your busy schedule with an orphan or a destitute woman. Charity, provided it comes from the heart, according to me is the greatest and best form of religion. Religion is tolerance, it is the strength to admire someone's kind gesture, it is the ability not to be jealous of a peer's instant success, it is the smile you share with others, it is to be part of your friend or family's happiness even if things are not that great for your own self.

Religion and spirituality may be different in many regards but they are sort of part of each other. Spirituality can be seen as a broader extension of religion. By the description of religion as stated above, even an atheist, in some sense could be called religious or more aptly spiritual. An atheist might know more about religion and spirituality than a person who worships everyday. Religion could be seen as a specific case of spirituality but one thing that binds them together is welfare of mankind. So whether you are regular in your prayers or not, whether you go to a place of worship everyday or once in a decade, just be good and see the healing effect it has on you. Strangely, the depth of this topic seems so endless that I can't really come to a conclusion for this piece.

So till I login again, just keep the faith and smile:-)