My random definition of success..

Hi guys...
Just scribbled something after a pleasant evening with friends... Though it has nothing to do with the idiotic yet fun filled talks that I had with them... :-) Still felt like sharing it...

Some intellectual person said, and I find it so true....

"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you won't.
Success begins with your own will.
It’s all in your state of mind."

Success is nothing but a state of mind. It is based on how we view things relating to our life and career. Success does not only mean obtaining material possessions or career status. True success lies in genuine satisfaction, happiness and contentment with yourself and the world around you. There is no fixed "Mantra" for success. For every individual the meaning and definition of success is different. The significance of an achievement does not lie in the fact, how big or small it is, but it lies in the joy and satisfaction it gives the achiever. With the passage of time, our ambitions and dreams change. As we grow in age, as our lives go through different circumstances and situations, our priorities and perceptions about various things change. Success in one line is translating intention into reality. The most crucial step towards success is SELF-ASSESSMENT. A person, who is able to realize his true potential, is always a step closer to achievement than his counterparts. Effective action is based on true self-expression.

# Do what gives you happiness.
# Do what you are best at.
# Do what you thoroughly enjoy doing.

Before taking any task, ask yourself two questions:
# What you want?
# What are your abilities and where your aptitude lies?

Quite often, there exists a gap between what you want to achieve and your capacities, resources and values. Understanding where personal and professional goals and beliefs differ allow you to make more informed choices. There comes a time in everyone's life when one starts evaluating his or her success. At this point, one starts looking at the sacrifices made along the way and what has one got in return of all the effort, blood and sweat. Some realize that the price paid to reach success was too high. So always ensure that you should not do something that makes you repent after a few years. Compete but don't compromise. Stick to your principles and what you believe is ethically correct.

It is not easy to bring a dream into reality. Without commitment and desire no action is fruitful. Any desire should partner commitment. Difference between desire and drive is the difference between expressing yourself and proving yourself. Desire complemented with drive is rewarding and productive. Never be scared to express your desires but ensure a firm commitment which further requires focus and dedication.

# Don't be a follower, be a trendsetter.
Those who blindly follow the trends always end up being mediocre. Just remember anyone can be famous, rich and known. What is required is to discover one's hidden talents and potentials and appropriate action to tap them. One needs to discover the field in which one can extraordinarily excel.

Success cannot be categorized. Its horizons are as vast as the sky and ofcourse; "Sky is the limit". Truly enjoying life, family, friends, work and all that life has to offer is "Success". So just look deep into your self and discover what can make you successful.

Have a happy search with your definition of success and smile till I login again... :-)

Deceptive Emotions..

Moving in the paths of life,
I came across a face,
chasing the dreams of life,
I noticed a smile,
as life ceased for a while...

Those innocent eyes and the infectious smile,
the charm so pleasing,
thoughts and words, all so amazing,
the genuineness of every expression,
emotions full of love and affection,
so true and tender in every action...

Oh! so unfortunate was the day, I met you,
something that I admired,
was just the appearance,
what lay ahead was a menace...

Appearances are deceptive, how true,
I realised when I met you,
someone who appeared so full of life,
was so hollow and empty inside,
never judge from the looks I learnt,
your gestures left my heart hurt...

Emotions and feelings I felt for me,
a friend forever, to be,
care and concern as far I could see,
a mere fantasy it was,
leaving behind harsh scars...

People come and go,
to move on is what I know,
blanking out the past,
carrying forward memories to treasure,
to come across some, is a nightmare,
to meet a few, is a pleasure,
to go on, move on,
be at peace in mind and heart, is life's art...

Religious: Are you sure?

Hi people,

I am back again feeling "really" good about the fact that I am finally able to devote the much deserved time to my "first love", writing:-) And strangely, I actually am able to think about topics, which till a few months back were completely out of sync with my thinking frequency or I should aptly put it as things that were beyond the domain and intelligence quotient of my queer brain:-)

"Religion" has always been something, about which I have had very unclear thoughts. Though, I am still not very sure about what it is, why it is, where did it actually originate, how is it different from its new counter part spirituality.. Still, I am just making an amateur attempt to try and sum up some random thoughts about the most debatable political and social issue of our times.. So in case any of my random thoughts seem incorrect or unethical or immoral, I mean NO OFFENCE to anyone and I apologize.. I am not making any statement here, or not trying to criticize anybody else's point of me. What I am jotting down in the next few stanzas are just my opinion which you may or may not agree with. And anyways, I believe that "Religion is to each their own".
I go to the "Gurudwara" once a week. I clasp my hands, close my eyes, and say a prayer, twice a day. I visit the temple on special occasions, I look towards the almighty when I am not in the best of my spirits, and I share my desires in my personal talk with GOD. There are many like me and there are many who do even more. So can we all take pride in calling ourselves RELIGIOUS. I have doubts.. Had going to a sacred place of worship, solely being considered religion, there would have been very few atheists. Religion for me is much more than that, or I can say it is something completely beyond all these day to day practices.

You go to the temple everyday, perform rituals in the well ornated and embellished, marble polished temple in your "pooja room" at home, but during the day you wrong a hundred people whom you come across in your business deals. I doubt you conform to be called religious or may be you can be called religious but in no means spiritual. Well, that brings me to the point of contention, how does the two terms differ, religion and spirituality. In simple terms, according to me, religion is specific, while spirituality is holistic. Spirituality is nothing but a kind of self awareness. Ironically it’s more to do with non-materialistic self awareness rather than materialistic. Though, in no way spirituality teaches you to be a saint, you don’t really have to bereft or abstain yourself from the luxuries and whims & fancies of the world. You don’t really have to change your attire to saffron kurtas and jholas. You could be as "hep" as the latest model in town and yet be spiritual. It just teaches you not to be dependent or bound by the chains of your mind's and heart's unending desires. It just connects you to a greater power that lies above the world somewhere in the universe.

I know its getting a little too much and too heavy:-) But all these "seemingly saintly" thoughts are a by product my many months of thought process. And I think, I can't find a better sink than my very own blog to share it with the world. And trust me these thoughts have made me a much more peaceful human being. So you have a reason to go on and finish this read.:-)

For that matter, even for religion, it’s something that is not too much dependent on materialistic desires. Though I am not completely against those who say that it’s GOD only from whom you can ask for. (I personally believe in the, "dawa se dua behtar & khuda se maang kar sab milta hai philosophy) But someone once told me, "The best prayer is when you can feel the presence of GOD, anywhere, anytime. when you can close your eyes and just ask for the power and will to believe in the almighty, to have faith, and to love none but GOD. That is the most true kind of prayer and that is what makes you truly religious." And I have come to believe that’s where religion and spirituality amalgamate in each other as two souls in one body. Don't pray for a purpose, don't pray for a reason, pray for your very existence as a human, to connect your external self to your internal powers. Sounds a little too much, coming from someone who is still in her 20's... :-) May be I realized it a little earlier than the rest of you would.

I am already above my set limit of words I had planned to write and I still have so much more to say. Well if you are tired sitting in front of your computer screen, or your boss is standing on your head watching what you are doing, come back after a while but don’t skip it half way :-)

Religion and spirituality, both are very subjective matters, so it is kind of difficult to comment objectively and answer objective questions about them. But, what bothers me most in today's times is the misuse of religion by all sects of people for their own benefit. The more stature you have in society, the more easily you can define or defy laws of the religious scriptures and text. Somewhere, religion and wealth go hand in hand in this age of corruption. If you have one, it automatically grants you the power to play with the other. I shall not get into the statics and dynamics of this, since that would require an entirely separate post. So let’s leave that for some other time.

Religion is goodness of the soul. You may not visit a place of worship for a decade but still you could be religious, if you can connect to the inner goodness of your soul, and implement the same by being kind and understanding with family, friends, colleagues or even by giving a helping hand to someone who is a complete stranger. You can be religious by just sharing a little amount of your hugely amassed wealth and few minutes of your busy schedule with an orphan or a destitute woman. Charity, provided it comes from the heart, according to me is the greatest and best form of religion. Religion is tolerance, it is the strength to admire someone's kind gesture, it is the ability not to be jealous of a peer's instant success, it is the smile you share with others, it is to be part of your friend or family's happiness even if things are not that great for your own self.

Religion and spirituality may be different in many regards but they are sort of part of each other. Spirituality can be seen as a broader extension of religion. By the description of religion as stated above, even an atheist, in some sense could be called religious or more aptly spiritual. An atheist might know more about religion and spirituality than a person who worships everyday. Religion could be seen as a specific case of spirituality but one thing that binds them together is welfare of mankind. So whether you are regular in your prayers or not, whether you go to a place of worship everyday or once in a decade, just be good and see the healing effect it has on you. Strangely, the depth of this topic seems so endless that I can't really come to a conclusion for this piece.

So till I login again, just keep the faith and smile:-)

I strive for...

In search of the lanes that lead to eternal peace,
In search of the beauty that lead to mystical realms of life,
With every twinkle of the stars and with sun’s every ray,
I slog and I strive,
Strive to achieve the best,
Strive to live the dreams,
And fulfill the unending desires…

Longing for the day,
When smiles will reflect true joy,
When laughters won’t be artificial,
When happiness in every form will be real…
Behind the eyes that sparkle with sheen,
Lies the innocence of tears,
My life and the aura that surrounds is just so pretentious…

What goes behind the mirror of what people see,
When the world from its compulsions set me free,
Emotions that are for none but just for me…
I strive hard but some feelings can’t just be put into words,
Few couplets that I write,
May give someone pleasure and peace,
The pain that goes in every word I pen down,
A heart that hurts, a moment that’s still,
Life, a journey, with every step seems higher up the hill…

You know the girl in me,
The friend, the lover and even the poet,
But no one recognizes the spark that defines me,
The spark that brightens as well burns within me…
Brighten the gardens of many around,
Burns to reach the unknown destination that I still haven’t found….

Success that lasts too short a while,
Discontentment embraces the sphere of life,
A confusion that embraces mind and heart,
Mysteries and surprises, some pleasant and some weird ones,
That are life’s integral part…

Living with the odds, is called life,
Losers lose the right to smile,
Survivors are the one’s who learn to strive….
Strive to achieve the best,
Strive to live the dreams,
And fulfill the unending desires…

So that proves me to be the winner amongst all,
I have learnt to smile after all those odd falls,
And make the most of this journey called life, that is in it’s essence too small….

Missing College Days...

Days of togetherness on the verge of end

Moments of madness seem to fade,

Time that’s blissful is slipping by the hand,

Emptiness of the classroom haunts the heart,

Friends will drift like bits and parts,

Coffee in the canteen, talks in the corridors,

Lunches during the lectures, facing the vivas,

Fear of the backlogs, fights with buddies,

A beautiful panorama of golden years,

Era so euphoric, thoughts that were crazy,

Dreams so magnanimous, sparks of naughtiness,

In a blink of an eye, will be just a memory,

The smiles you gave, will stay forever,

Strength of your love and care, I will forget never,

You, my dear friend, enriched the journey of life with your simple and quiet presence!!

Too young to marry or too old to find a match...

Feels like an achievement that I am back here, sticking to my resolution of pursuing things that make me happy:-) Though, I could have come back earlier, but its better to be late than never:-)



"The much hyped and the much deserved empowerment of women has CHANGED IT ALL."
I thought so atleast till a few months back. Career is top priority, Marriage can wait, Climbing the success ladder came before Climbing the steps of your newly wedded husband's home. Well I still don't deny that a lot of things have really changed, but in the broader picture some still have not and probably they won't so easily and so early. The so-called "marriagable" age has become more subjective, with so many opportunities available for women to progress beyond the four walls of the house both professionally & personally. "22-25" is no more considered to be the perfect bracket for the greatest turning point in a woman's life. 28 is the new 24, & there are takers who willingly extend it to 30... I was pretty much convinced on all these and more until a few weeks back...

But some how I am forced to RE-think due to the course of events that happen around me (let me clarify not with me :-) but with people around me). Complete your graduation, get a humble job, and bang on, its time either you find yourself a match or else your parents would...(the former being more common these days) :-) This still prevails in an era where most elite magazines and celebrity newspaper columnists publish and endorse the "Late marriage" & "Successfully Single" kinda stuff. My observations do not rule out that such a trend exists but the percentage is just a little more than "bare minimum". On a more generic basis, girls still get married by 25 and what surprises me is that most of them choose to do so with complete willingness and happiness... Well makes me wonder that I am quite different and no doubt that lands me into arguments with many around especially with the likes of my mother's generation.

Anyway since I have already blabbered a lot, lets come to the point(the aim with which I started writing this). "What exactly is the right age for marriage..." (be it a girl or a boy)... Before I delve into the viewpoint and counterpoint I need to quote someone, who a few days back gave me a beautiful answer to this question. The answer is beautiful though i m still pondering over its feasibility & justifiability. "There is no age for marriage, according to some, it's important to be settled in life, while for others it's important to have a sound bank balance, some give priority to having a great career, for a selected few, you just need to be in love, it could be 22-25 for the girls & 27-30 for boys, someone could be fascinated by the safe figure 30, when for most people all spheres of life are completely in place. But the irony is that going by most of the above standards set by psuedo-philosphers of our society, you would eventually never achieve a proper age of marriage. Because most of the above have no upper limit, be it money, fame, happiness, love, satisfaction.... The more you achieve, the more you desire. So you just might miss the right person and even the so-called right age to marry and you may not even know it before its too late. Marry when you find the right person, (be it through an affair or an arranged match), if you have the right partner, everything will eventually fall in place. So rather than looking for an answer for the right age look for the right person. When you would have the perfect partner, the struggles would also look like a beautiful journey, the obstacles would only strengthen your relation." Though, this beautiful answer sounds really flowery but it still fails to convince me 100 % probably because I still view marriage as a huge huge responsibility...

I am not sure whether I am capable to talk in length and depth on this topic, considering the fact that I am just a fresher in the dynamics of the study called "marriage" but I still want to take the liberty of expressing some random thoughts on this whole "Marry early, Marry late" debate...

#Right Person is more important than the Right Time- I partly agree to this theory cited by the preachers of utopian world. No doubt, the person has to be right but in certain circumstances, waiting for the right time is a wiser decision. After all no one can marry for the heck of it... Just because you have found the right person doesn't mean that the next thing you do is go to the church and marry. Make sure you are mentally, physically & financially prepared to take the responsibility.

#Better career opportunities will probably never alter society on the whole- It might hurt the feminists but it's a fact. Empowerement would probably never alter the traditional role of a woman. She would always be seen as a housemaker first before anything else. I might sound a bit conservative when I say this but being a housemaker or more aptly, a successful HOUSEMAKER is a full time job and it's not every woman's cup of tea to be a master at that. Just for instance, I have doubts on my capabilities as a housemaker:-) The new growth opportunities may give today's woman the option to choose career over marriage but there are very few who would make that choice.

#Early marriage, more time to grow professionaly before you start a family- Well this sounds like a logical analysis. With marraige the responsibilities would only GROW. But if you marry say by 25, there is a buffer in which you can first grow individually or in stricter terms professionally, before you take on the role of a mother. A girl would have biologically more time to concieve. And also even if you have your first child after say 5 years of your marriage you probably would be 29-30 which is quite acceptable in the times of internet and technology.

#Metros and small town culture still differs- Being in an IT hub for half of my day, I get an opportunity to meet a lot of people who have come from smaller cities and I can see the striking difference in their metro born counterparts and them vividly. Even though tier 2 & 3 cities have grown at equal pace with the metros, there are perspectives that still lie at 180 degree opposite ends. The high end endorsements of late marriage are predominantly present in cosmopolitan cities like mumbai and delhi only.

#More options available- well this one comes from my grand mom... "The more you will grow in age, the better you would do in career, there will be fewer choices available to a girl to choose from. As, most of the "good guys" and "equally qualified" would be "taken" by then. Hmm No comments on this analysis by our "dadis and nanis".

#Earlier you marry, Easier to mould yourself & your partner- I have always believed that the older you are, the difficult it is to change. And in a marriage no matter how much you love the other person, eventually there will be conflicts and both sides would have to come to terms with each other's differences and also get accustomed to them. So by this reasoning somehow this point of view gets an agreed nod.

#You can enjoy life longer, together while you have youthful charms- This cute piece of wisdom is from my dearest mom.:-) Indeed true to some extent.. But as always its not very often that I completely agree with my mother, so again I believe, that age lies in the heart and numbers are just a formailty... So, its upto you to keep those boyish and girlish charms alive no matter at what age you marry...

At the end of this post I am amused at my capacity to write these many words on an issue that has never really fascinated me :-) Well, could be so that I never thought about it... May be its just a form of ignorance thats making me feel blissful... Just hoping that all my kind and treasured readers enjoy reading it...
Smile till I login again... :-)